no more dreadlocks

(the end of an era)

for about 20 years of my life, i have been a fan of the red sox. it is a strange thing, for sure, to root for a team that has undergone such a big public image change. when i first started following them, they were in the middle of what some have dubbed a "curse," and only about 3 years removed from the most recent low point when a certain bill buckner flubbed a routine grounder against the mets. but the last 4 years have been spectacular. no longer are they a model for everything that can go wrong for a team (that just might be the braves of the last 2 years), now they are a powerful example of how to run a franchise (with a ton of money). and 2 world series rings are proof enough.

a large part of that success has come in the form of one manny ramirez. he of the tired cliche (manny being...you know how that ends) has been one half of the most feared left-right 3-4 combo in the game. he may go down in history as one of the five or ten best righties ever to strap on a uni. his swing is a majestic amalgam of grace and power that is as close to mechanically perfect as possible. he is, without a doubt, a once in a lifetime talent.

at the plate.

in the field and on the basepaths, he is an adventure at best. and many of these plays are downright goofy. cutting off throws, rolling over on singles until they are triples, highfiving fans as he makes a double play (which was cool), the way he always seemed to dive at just the wrong time. he was known to take his time legging out ground balls. and it could be quite infuriating. but you learned to deal with it because he was a freak when he swung a bat.

that such a singular talent who played a huge part in 2 world series rings would be traded mid-season for a decent hitting canadian is surprising. that the sox gave away 2 more prospects and are paying out his salary just to get rid of him is beyond astonishing. but apparently this had become an exercise in finding that line between coddling a superstar because he is an uber-talent and kicking him to the curb because he is a cancer. manny had quickly deteriorated into the latter.

as a fan, this has been a trade of mixed feelings. i was a manny fan completely. there are a number of iconic images of his home runs that are forever part of my baseball memory bank. and i always thought that his carefree attitude was a chief reason he was absolute ice under pressure. he was always a joy to watch, because for every lazy jog to first or confoundingly bad fielding play, there were 4 or 5 times when he hit a baseball so far you weren't sure if it would land or made an opposing pitcher look that it reminded you how good he was and made you grateful he wore your colors.

but now, after a quick but ugly divorce, i have been forced to acknowledge that he had become so difficult to deal with that his numbers couldn't keep up. he quit on his team, and in sports, this is the most grievous of sins. and in that respect i admit that he had to go. and i am genuinely excited about jason bay and his role on the team. do i hope that we pick up a masher in the off-season? absolutely (please be texiera). but i believe that we can win with the lineup that we currently have. that is what a fan does.

but i will miss him. i will miss the talent that he brought to my favorite pro sports team. i will remember how he helped give me what many sox fans have died hoping for. i will be thankful that my son, himself a member of red sox nation, had the childhood joy of watching a larger than life character display his uncanny talent for all of us. but i will teach him a different way to play. i will teach him to hustle and not to quit on his team, no matter what. because freak talents are once in a lifetime, but the rest of us must work a little harder. and when it all comes down to it, winning matters, but it is much better when you win in the right way.

opinions: No Country For Old Men

there are few things that i anticipate. a favorite bands new record. christmas. a coen brothers film. ahh yes, the coen brothers. makers of some of the finest stories ever put to film. who can not love the twisted humor of Raising Arizona or O Brother, Where art Thou or the Big Lebowski. or the just plain twistedness of Fargo. it should come as a surprise then that i just now got around to watching No Country For Old Men. but i did.

and holy crap.

it was, in the most literal sense, a hell of a ride. whatever hell is seemed to infect every minute of the movie. it was dark and cold and uncomfortable and violent and beyond brilliant. it tells the intertwining story of 3 men and their part in the discovery of a drug deal gone bad. one is the man who discovered the scene (and the money), one the cold blooded assassin out to retrieve said money, and one the sheriff trying to bring balance to the whole thing. each of these characters are presented in the starkest way possible, offering little in the way of soundtrack to tell us how to feel about each one. and the bad guy, Chigurh, is maybe the most calculated and cold and sinister bad guy i have seen in a long while.

all good movies get me thinking. and this one has me thinking about redemption. after watching a chracater like chigurh, you begin to wonder if some people are beyond redemption. llewelyn moss, the man who finds the money, certainly is a redeemable character, but is too sidetracked by money to find it. the films only conscience, and most redeemable character is that of sheriff bell, who stands firmly on the side of justice and good, but as he delivers the films last line (which i won't spoil here) almost like a punchline, you wonder if he believes that redemption is possible.

it is a film that shows the worst of some possible situations, but sadly, it feels true. i say sadly because if redemption is this elusive, then it would be easy to lose hope. but i do find hope, even just a fragment. and sometimes a fragment is all we have. joel osteen may have us believe otherwise, but i'm pretty sure he is a liar. life is messy and sometimes violent and the absence of hope and redemption might be the most frightening thing of all. but what is redemption if there is not something to be redeemed from, some evil or mess that chases us around every corner and threatens to consume us. and what is hope but the dogged belief that evil and mess is not all there is, that there is something truer and more real that is coming and will set things right. you would think that a religion like mine that is about grace and redemption and hope would not be afraid to stare evil in the eye and defiantly believe that there is something else. but too often we trade truth (admittedly uneasy truth) for jesus mints and family friendly radio stations. we only like the easy and pretty. but that is only half the truth, which is no truth at all.

enough rambling. go see the movie.

blog in the round: what scares me

blog in the round: what annoys me

a list.

-nickelback
-the tampa bay rays
-stupid church signs
-joel osteen
-people who are convinced they are right
-100 degree heat with 848 percent humidity
-botulism
-other people's kids
-baptists
-people who only speak christianese
-bill curry returning to coaching
-six in a row
-makeover shows
-country
-rap
-the unholy conglomeration of country and rap
-said conglomeration being used as the theme music for college gameday
-rednecks
-not eating ribs with my friends enough
-the troll waitress from dreamland who called us retarded
-spaghetti
-butt-rock
-internet shorthand
-rick and bubba

above list is not exhaustive.

from (near) death to life: magic on the aquafresh aisle

for those interested, my dad is doing better. trying to strengthen himself and get used to a more healthy, less bacon-y existence.

july 15. for most of you, this day may mean nothing in particular. for me, it has some significance.

about 14 years and a few months ago, as i was finishing my high school career, i met someone. and she was pretty. still is. and today (july 15) is her birthday.

many people have wonderful stories of meeting their spouse or significant other on a beach in spain, or across a crowded room as their eyes locked, love-lorn, onto each other. i have friends who met their mates at church, at school, at other weddings. me and april? kmart. and not by shopping happenstance. we were both counted among the red-vested, and one night, after a few flirty weeks of conversation, i asked her out on the toothpaste aisle. as luck would have it, she said yes, and so we went, together, to city stages and i got winked at by a dude. now, 14 years (12 of them married), 3 kids, a few houses and several jobs later, we are still here, still together. and i couldn't be happier about the whole deal.

to be able to see someone enter adulthood and become a wife and mother is a thrilling thing. when the relationship started among the dental hygiene products at the trussville kmart, we were both kids. i was 18, she was 17. to say that a lot has changed would be an understatement. we have gotten older, sure, but we have also lived life together. been to pinnacles of goodness on our wedding day and as our kids were born. been through some valleys, too, as we lost jobs and friends and watched grandparents pass away. and we share those things. we have been shaped, collectively, by those experiences, and indeed the common experiences of work and school and meals and everyday life. i have never shared so much of my life, so much of myself with any other person. she knows me in all my glory and shame. i have trusted her with my own life, and she has trusted me with hers.

i like to think that if there is any good in me, that it has been shaped in the ups and downs of our relationship. without april , i would totally be jimmy fallon from Fever Pitch, completely consumed with something trivial, out of touch with reality (but i would have a way cool Green Monster on my wall). but because of her, i know, even just a little, what matters. i don't know if i believe that everyone has a single soulmate, and life is about finding that person (even if they are in pakistan), but i do know that i was created to love and be loved. we all were. and i am so happy that i chose to seek that love with a pretty girl from pinson valley. it gives me joy. it gives me meaning. and i am terribly grateful that she chose me, too. it has been a wonderful set of years, and i would choose no one else to spend the rest of my years with. here's hoping that it is many, many years.

and here's hoping that our love will grow from the toothpaste aisle at a kmart through the vows we shared on our wedding day, through us as we live our lives together to our kids as they grow.

happy birthday, april. i love you.

derby time

holy crap. josh hamilton is good at hitting baseballs.

(but that old dude got shelled)

so, my dad died this week....

...more than once, actually. but to reference a little monty python, he "got better."

i don't really know where to begin to debrief from this little adventure. most of my readers probably are aware that my dad had a massive heart attack tuesday. and by massive, i mean darn near deadly. actually coded more than once and had to get defibbed as many as 20 times. had paddle burn on his chest. to say that we almost lost him is an understatement. so i am obviously grateful to the paramedics who shocked him back to life and the doctors and nurses who, quite literally, saved my dad.

he and i are pretty different. he is more traditionally "man" than i am. likes to fix stuff. watches lots of chuck norris. i, on the other hand, read books. and am fantastically unhandy when it comes to home or auto repair. (but i do like sports, so don't think i am girly)

but i guess all this has helped me realize that i am proud to have the man as my dad. funny how not being sure i would have him makes me appreciate him. but, chuck norris fandom notwithstanding, he is a good man. loves my kids like crazy, and tells me he loves me most every time we speak. and that means something. so, thanks, dad, for being a good father and for not dying on us.

life hands you these opportunities by way of difficulties often. i never thought when i woke up butt-early (see: new job) on tuesday that an ill-placed blood clot would almost take my father from this earth. but i guess it has given me (and others) a chance to consider some things. i saw again how God so often uses other people, and not magical, metaphysical, warm and fuzzy feelings, to support us. talented and focused paramedics and doctors, sure. but also family and friends and neighbors who prayed, sat with us at the hospital, and cared. and i think that is a powerful example of how God ministers to us.

maybe the moral of this story, though, is this: if you have a dad (or mom, or brother, or sister, friend, cousin, wife, husband, or anybody) and you can stand them, let them know you love them. whatever makes us different or separates us can surely not be as big of a deal as we make it out to be. and if it is, focus on those that do matter in your life. because you never know...