let's try this again

after some confusion, drew is most definitely on the all-star team. a total of 4 rangers got the call. 2 on the 7 year old team and 2 on the 7-8 year old team.

again, i hear ya son. you make a daddy proud.

ugh.

why is it that a team can be almost unbeatable at home, and unbearably sucky on the road?




(why is it that as a red sox fan, i am unable to have any perspective at all on losses, as every one feels like a kick to the groin?)

blog-in-the-round: why Jesus?

truth is, the answer changes almost daily.

i guess the best explanation is to start at the beginning. as a kid growing up in church, belief in jesus was sort of assumed. but he was pleasant enough. the songs and stories told me he loved me and could get me to heaven, so what's not to believe in? so, if you asked me as a kid, and most of the way through being a teenager, the answer to "why Jesus?" was probably "why not?"

then i went to college. and life was getting messier, and questions were being raised and for the first time i considered the possibility that it all may be bullcrap. after all, most of the world does not believe the same things about life and God that i do. and here i was borrowing money and spending time to get a degree that gives me the chance to base my entire life on the notion that christianity is true. and i began to wonder, is it?

oddly enough, it was historical philosophical arguments that started the road back. specifically, the cosmological argument. (warning: nerd alert) it basically says that there has to be an uncreated creator. it just doesn't make sense for not to be something that exists that was not created. sort of a starting point for all of life to begin with. that something, of course, could be called God. but even then, why Jesus?

on a good day, i would tell you about how i see Jesus in nature or music or my kids or my friends or the love of my wife. what scripture tells me about Jesus leads me to believe that in all good things, there is a bit of the Divine. like in experiencing music or beauty or good food, we are somehow experiencing God. and i like that idea. i like the notion that one could experience at least something of God in the good things of life. that at least gives us all a starting point.

i could also tell you about how i believe that Jesus and his way of life just has to be true because it is so amazing. the idea that we can change the world through love and hope and kindness and generosity and goodness rings very true to me. we have definitely not done any good by bombing the heck out of each other. so Jesus' message just seems like the best way to live.

other days, however, i think i would struggle to believe. admittedly, a lot of the time this corresponds directly with my circumstances. bad day equals hard to believe in God. (yeah, i know its immature, but what you gonna do?) other times, it just seems so intellectually unlikely. how could there be a God, much less a really awesome God who loves me so much he would die for me? such an idea is either too good to not be true, or it is just ridiculous. and i usually oscillate between the two.

and on those days, i guess i just try to push through and commit myself to believe and follow even when i don't feel like it. so far, i have not heard a definitive voice or seen a sign that tells me that it is all real, so i only have the hunches to go on. some days this is pretty easy, but others it is more of a struggle. so i just try to stay true to what i have committed to and follow anyway. it is not very romantic, and it won't sell osteen books, but it does feel like faith.

"lord, i believe. help my unbelief!"

blog-in-the-round: where will i be in 20 years

edited because i don't want to look like a lady robot in the future

what i will look like:




















what april wil look like:
















what i will drive:














where i will live:

















this is the brave new world to which we are headed.



authors note: if republicans stay in charge and we continue to fawn over paris hilton and britney spears, then i am sure the world will be neither new nor brave. if this is the way we go, the future i see involves more reality TV and major advancements being made only in the field of porn distribution. please choose wisely.

dirt, grass, and glory

the medium is the message

for the past few days, a question has been floated around among sports talk people about whether sports blogging is good for sports, or if it is shady and bad journalism. that it is being talked about almost misses the point, because good or bad, it is here to stay. and i think that it is a good thing. the detractors, incidentally, have been old-guard journalists (at networks and major papers) and older sports figures (like wimp sanderson). in other words, those who are either resistant to change by their nature and those who have the most to lose. it has certainly decentralized the power of sports journalism, as deadspin and other blogs get more and more hits. no longer is espn, which i check online and watch daily, the only game in town.

and i think it says something about the changes happening all over the place. in journalism and politics and religion. for the past however many years, the power, which was in the information, has resided in the hands of a few. these hands were, incidentally, the hands of experts. with the advent of blogs, the power has become decentralized, and now resides in the hands of everyone with wifi and an opinion. and i like it. i think it is freeing and exciting and dangerous. consider that most of my sports reading is in the form of blogs. and much of my news comes from the Daily Show.

i think it started with a general distrust of authority. too many times, those who were the experts used their knowledge or influence to oppress or for selfish gain. and so the commoners have risen up and are taking knowledge from the seat of power.

i think this is important because right now i am struggling with what it means to faithfully follow jesus in my context. and more and more, i get the feeling that the future of theology, and therefore orthodoxy and orthopraxy, will be articulated best in blogs and discussions and conversations outside of churches in a traditional sense. the days of seminary trained experts being the religious professionals and the sole voice is going, if not already gone. and i am excited about the possiblilities, but also unsure how it will play out for me, when i am still firmly in the context of a traditional church.

or am i wrong? is the church just in a lull, and soon will rebound? i doubt it, but there is a lot of money and power in churches, and i have a feeling they will not go quietly into the night. so i guess the question becomes, is it possible to adapt?

last week, i spent $400 on my truck for brakes, etc. today, it started running hot, and the early diagnosis is it might be on its last leg.

if the Calvinists are right, then God hates me.

blog-in-the-round: Danielle

this is danielle.
i am supposed to blog about her.

she is mysterious.

she has never killed a cop.

she is smarter than you.

blog in the round: aliens

it's the end of the world as we know it (dispatches from the Great Invasion)

in the autumn of the year 2009, it happened. what we had theorized or dreamt about was coming to pass. it seemed that visitors were coming. visitors with bad intentions. these are the journal entries from one man's experience.

dispatch #1: day 11 before the Great Invasion: could it be that maybe there are other beings alive in the vast expanse of space. other races with families and dreams and lives. i really don't know why i share this now, because nothing is pointing at that. there just seems to be an electricity in the air. it reminds me of so many of the alien movies i watched as a child. maybe it's nothing, but maybe...

dispatch #2: day 4 before the Great Invasion: if there are such beings, what are they like. if our assumptions are correct, then they are little green men (and women?) who are very advanced, much more advanced than us. this is obvious through the enormous heads and the super-cool flying machines, or space-ships. what doesn't make sense, though, is their purpose. why would a super-intelligent race of beings fly millions of miles across vast expanses of blackness so that they could stick things in the butt of uneducated redneck types? was this to learn about us? if so, why not just ask? or is it more sinister? could it be for humiliation, or just as a big intergalactic joke? i hope i never find out.

and if they are coming, how will it happen. movies seem to suggest that they would come rambo-style, with fire in their eyes (if they have eyes) and guns blazing (photon or laser guns, of course). this obviously makes a better story, or at least one with more explosions. but what if they plan to move with subtlety, and craftiness. what if, indeed, they are already among us, lying in wait until the appointed hour so that they can reveal themselves and their true mission? would we even notice? aliens already among us. i think that makes more sense. it sure would explain richard simmons.

geez, i am starting to sound like an idiot. i need a hobby.

dispatch #3:day 1 of the Great Invasion: oh. my. god. i thought that i was perhaps crazy for thinking about aliens and such, but the national news channels are reporting something that makes me think i may be right. usually, when the media reports something about unexplained phenomena, it does so with an smirk and a knowing glance. like they are saying "the purpose of this story is to make fun of gullible people. please enjoy, and feel better about yourself."

but not this time. this is different. apparently, somewhere over chicago, something is happening. something that can't be explained by anyone. and the reporters are scared. you can see it in their eyes and hear it in their shaky voices. this is uncharted territory. everything is fuzzy now, but rest assured, something crazy is going on.

more later...

dispatch #4: day 6 of the Great Invasion: the past several days have been unbelievable. it has felt like an apocalypse, or at least a movie about an apocalypse. people are panicked, and the chief reaction to everything is fear. i'm scared, that is for sure.

at first, everything was so confusing. reports of something, but no details. the news networks were all over this, and somewhere in the frenzy the tone changed from breathless conjecture to terrifying fact. it began in chicago, then L.A. and Seattle. soon, all major cities were reporting that some unknown craft was looming in the sky above them. radio frequencies were interrupted, and word on the street was that whatever it was, it was not from here, and it wanted to do us harm. i myself do not live in a large city, so i have seen nothing but what i have been told, but how long before it is my city? it is coming. our government has already told us that. soon we will be engaged in the biggest fight for our survival and way of life that we have ever been up against. indeed, more than we can even imagine. and we must be ready. already me neighbors have been stockpiling weapons and food, sure that it is coming, and driven to make sure that they and their family make it through. i guess i should do the same. but if it is as bad as they say it will be, it will not matter...

a friend of mine said her mother lived near someone who saw one of the beings. so far, they have not shown their faces, but if this is true, how long until we all see them?

dispatch #5: day 14 of the Great Invasion: waiting to die. that is what this feels like. fear is still high, but is starting to give way to numbness and resignation. despair. everyone is so sure that the end is near. but i am beginning to wonder...

last night i met one of them. i remember drifting off to sleep, clutching my old Louisville Slugger baseball bat, not because i thought i could beat a race of super-intelligent extra-terrestrials with a bat, but because it makes me feel safe. anyway, about 2:30, i awoke suddenly. i felt a presence in my house, but was unsure what to make of it. it definitely felt real, but not in the way that scraping your knee or hugging your wife feels real. it was more like how it feels to have one of those dreams that feel real.

i don't recall all of the details of what it looked like, and in fact, i feel sure that i couldn't even make out anything more that the outline of its body. surprisingly enough, it looked just like the other ones that had been reported. for some reason, though, i felt confident enough to approach it, and even as i looked it in the face, i could not make out what it looked like. the only other sense that seemed to be working was sound, for i distinctly remember the deafening silence. it was silence that seemed to scream out at me, until it was broken with the voice of this being. i half expected it to speak in an unintelligible tongue, or a series of bleeps and blorps, but it was as clear and articulate (and surprisingly, in english) as anything i have ever heard.

"do not be afraid."


dispatch #6: day 16 of the Great Invasion: the events of the past few days have really got me wondering. besides the still constant media coverage and the "visitation" that i had, i really don't know what is going on. every report is nothing but conjecture, just a guess it seems of how bad things might be and how evil they are. but nothing concrete. nothing proven. i am beginning to wonder if we are freaked out over nothing. maybe they aren't evil. maybe the end of the world is not coming. what if we are wrong, and all this fear is worth nothing. because it is the fear that is the worst part. the not-knowing. the distrust. and the chaos that is gripping every city and town. everywhere you go is like a war-zone. it is truly terrifying, but i am starting to wonder what it is we should be most afraid of.


dispatch #7: day 20 of the Great Invasion: things are really strange now. there are others who have been asking questions too. the news still shows the same images, and they still insist that an attack is imminent, that they are merely staging for an all-out assault. but many are wondering if we should be worried. if maybe they are not hostile. if they even exist...

the word is that the ones who have been vocal have received visits. not from aliens, mind you. from government officials. not sure why. maybe they are on to something...


dispatch #8: day 26 of the Great Invasion: i never thought that things would turn out like they have. mind you, the thought of an invasion was strange enough. the reaction of people was not unexpected, but still devastating. the government's iron hand of control. the religious people's declaration of judgment. the fear and the hate that bubbled up everywhere. but to find out now that it was all a lie...

the news was fabricated. the reactions were real, but were based on a manufactured threat. the fear was the point. because if people are gripped by fear, they will believe, and do, almost anything. and so this was the wool pulled over our eyes to make us fear, and therefore not question their motives. was it the government? partly. but it was also leaders in business and religion and just about every human enterprise. it is they who looked to gain, but it is the weak who have suffered.

and everything has changed. not for the reason we thought at first, but because people have seen the truth. and now, where fear reigned, now freedom and independence rise up. and hope.

and hope will always trump fear.